A Link recently posted by Kim Wells on Twitter raises an interesting question–Why do women lie about domestic violence?

While this has been discussed time and again by several people who opine that it’s love that keeps the victims mum… my question is: just how much can a woman tolerate under the pretext of love? When you are being beaten, strangled and abused in every possible way every day by the same person, isn’t it obvious that there is no love left in his heart?

Kristen Schorsch of SouthTownStar.com tackles the issue by sharing a chilling tale of a domestic violence victim, Kimberly Johnson, 25,  who was brutally abused by her boyfriend. According to police reports, "Her(Johnson’s) current boyfriend smashed her cell phone and jammed the handle of a toilet brush down Johnson’s throat earlier this month."

Kristen asks a simple question, "Why defend an abusive lover? Why was Johnson so secretive about dating?"

 Deborah Tucker, executive director of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence answers her, "Victims often lie to protect their abusers. You hide it if you are somehow feeling that perhaps you contributed to (abuse). You get convinced that if you just tiptoe around on egg shells and don’t say this and do that that, it will never happen again, or you’re threatened if you go to your family."

But more often than not, staying silent just aggravates the whole issue. Not only do you lose your self-esteem, you also become much less confident about fighting back. Tucker further says, "Many times people do it to protect family, to keep them from potentially being a target." A shocking fact Kristen points out is, "On some level, many domestic violence victims realize they could die. Experts say they hear the same stories when victims seek help."

But is it worth it? Is it worth losing you life on it? It’s really not. The person you are ready to risk your life for, is often mentally deranged, or way too smart for you. As Vickie Smith, executive director of the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence points out, "Abusers are very deliberate, they seek out people they can control. They often chip away at the victims’ self esteem and social ties and try to keep victims isolated."

Silence is not always golden. Sometimes, speaking up is the only way out. What you maybe willing to risk your life for, may seldom have a happy ending. As Smith says, " All those things that we think when we’re teenagers could be wonderful could be huge red flags … for people who could abuse us."

Today, Kimberly Johnson has broken her silence and is thankfully, alive to tell the tale.
 

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